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Why The Collaborative Process is Right for You

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When you and your partner are choosing to go separate ways, there are several routes you can take towards your divorce. One of these paths is the collaborative process. Many couples have already found resolution this way and it might be right for you. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why.

No Court Deadline

If you have to take your divorce proceedings to court, it will be dictated by the court entirely. You will be told when your heading will be and you are expected to make sure you are there for it. If you cannot show, it might look bad to the court and you might not get everything you want from the process.

Choosing to work with collaborative family lawyers means that you can set the meetings around your schedule. This could be very helpful if you both have busy work lives or children you need to find a sitter for.

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A Relaxed Environment

While a divorce is never going to be the easiest process, choosing to work towards it collaboratively is one of the best ways to make it slightly easier for all. You have both decided that you want to work towards this together and this is a positive process you have chosen.

While it will probably take place in the office of one of your lawyers, it could also be scheduled for somewhere neutral to make the process as easy as possible. Your lawyers will speak to each other before the first meeting about the best place for you all to meet.

Truly Collaborative

The main people in the room are you, your partner, and your lawyers. Other experts might be brought in, such as a family consultant to offer guidance on how to talk to your children about the divorce, but at the end of the day it is just the four of you working together.

There is an end goal in mind and a desire to not let the proceedings go to court, so you should find it much easier to work together instead of trying to battle it out in some other way. You might even be able to sort out complicated matters like finances and childcare arrangements through actively sitting down and trying to work things out.

You will both have your lawyers on hand to discuss how to move forward with proceedings. There is no reason why a divorce cannot be a positive experience for both parties. Sometimes, there is no bad reason why a marriage has ended. Instead, you can both work together to ensure that your futures are as good as the years you spent together.

Not for Everyone

A collaborative divorce is not always the best option for some partners but it can be a cathartic process for others. If you and your partner are going your separate ways amicably, consider a collaborative process. It might be the best way for you to sort out the legal technicalities of your divorce without major disruption to your everyday life.

Hey all! Big thanks to Katy Blevins for handing over the reins to me at the end of 2017 to fulfill my new years resolution to write...often! Based in Miami, you can find me blogging about family life as a mother of two young kids. But i'll also continue the Chaos and Kiddos theme of business, fashion, parenting, product reviews, and...well, I could go on and on.

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Family

Important Qualities to Teach Your Child

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According to a 2018 study, approximately 40% of first-time parents recalled feeling indifference when holding their baby for the first time. So many new mothers struggle when they raise their children but they are not alone. This same study shows that 25% of second-time mothers also felt the same way when holding their baby for the first time. 

Since children are so impressionable, it is important to frequently take a step back and recognize the good and the bad things that you may be teaching your child. There are many qualities that mothers teach their children without even thinking about it. This can be both a negative and a positive thing. Mothers teach their children how to walk, how to eat, how to use the potty, how to talk and, most importantly, how to love. If you are teaching your child by leading by example in these areas, then it can be a positive thing. 

However, if you find yourself struggling in any of these areas, as most mothers do, you may end up teaching your child to develop qualities that are not in their best interest. Examples of this may be teaching your child to be prideful, impatient, unkind, disrespectful to authority, and much more. In this article, we will focus on how to encourage good behavior in our impressionable children. 

Teach your child to seek help when it is needed.

From time to time, everyone needs help in their life. This is true whether it is with schooling, mending broken relationships, treating addictions (with alcohol detox treatment), or simply with parenting. Teaching your child that it is okay to ask for help when they are confused or don’t know how to do something is a good thing. 

You can encourage this behavior by telling them how proud you are of them for asking questions. You can celebrate when they ask questions and learn from their past mistakes and you can model that same behavior in your own life. When you need help with something, seek help and do not be ashamed of it because your children will notice and follow after your example. 

Teach your child to be kind.

This can be one of the hardest things for a parent to do because to teach this quality, you have to model this quality in every aspect of your life. You must model how important it is to be kind to others in public and in private. It may be easiest to teach your child how to be a good friend and then teach them to treat everyone in the same way that they would treat their best friends. Teach them what bullying is and encourage them to help those who are being bullied instead of participating in the bullying themselves.

Teach your child to be patient.

This is another hard one to accomplish. Life gets stressful and it is easy to get frustrated. However, when you show patience towards your child they will show patience to others. For example, if they need help for the 50th time in an area you have already explained, keep helping them. Find creative ways to help them understand how to do it. If the original way that you explained it does not help, find someone else to help you. Everyone learns differently but there are many tools to help you figure out how to teach your child according to their unique learning style. 

Finally, learn to forgive yourself when you make mistakes. If you are reading this article and feel like you are a horrible mother, remember that you are not alone and that it is okay to make mistakes. If you forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes, you will become a better mother every day. 

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Now women can share maternity when starting a family

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The decision to start a family is a big one, it is a chance to take the next step in your life or relationship. Yet for some couples making that decision is only the first step in a long road to motherhood.

For women in a same sex relationship, it means making a lot of decisions about how to start the adventure of motherhood together, and how to go about finding a sperm donor and ultimately finding a clinic or fertility treatment centre who can make the entire process the wonderful and magical experience it should be.

A shared maternity allows both of you to be part of the process

The clinic Fertty International in Barcelona is leading the way in fertilization services to lesbian couples, offering a way for both partners to be part of the process. The option is known as reciprocal IVF, and what this means is that the in vitro fertilization cycle is carried out on one of the couple. This stimulates egg production in the ovaries, which can then be collected for fertilization with the semen of an anonymous donor.

The embryos are then transferred into the uterus of the other partner to begin gestation. The second partner will then carry the baby to full term. It is really quite wonderful what science makes possible. For LGBT couples dreaming of starting a family together this is one way to bring motherhood to both women.

What to expect from the first phase

This is the first step you the journey to motherhood and it is exciting. The specialist and experts at the clinic will be there for you every step of the way to make sure you have the best experience. For the woman who will be providing the eggs, several weeks before the procedure there will be some hormonal contraception given.

The purpose of this is to interrupt the normal cycle. This is so that when fertility drugs are then taken the body is ready to produce a few extra eggs in the ovary, rather than the normal one. This gives the best chance of fertilization in the next steps.

What happens during fertilization and implantation

Once the eggs are retrieved they are joined with the donor sperm in a state of the art laboratory for fertilization. If they are successfully fertilized then they are allowed to undergo a couple of days of cell division before the embryo is transplanted into the second partner, via the vagina, through the cervix and into the uterus.

It is usual to transplant more than one embryo, and in Spain that number is limited to three in order to reduce the risk of multiple pregnancies which can pose a risk to both the mother and the babies.

Some women describe the process as feeling similar to a PAP smear test. It does not feel comfortable but it does not require any sedation or drugs. After around 10 days or so a blood pregnancy test can be done in order to find out if the implantation was successful.

Any embryos that are not used in this stage can be cryopreserved for the future or even donated to other couples unable to do the first part of the treatment themselves for whatever reason.

It make take several cycles for a successful result

IVF has a success rate of anything between 40 and 70%, depending on a range of factors such as the age of the women, the quality of the eggs and the quality of the embryos produced. It will require a detailed review of each couple’s person circumstances to give an idea of potential success rate.

If multiple rounds are required the couple will need to talk in depth with the medical team to decide how many attempts are best for you.

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Simplifying Your Child’s Wardrobe

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Kids clothes can easily take over your life if you’re not careful. When your baby is born, your friends all want to shower you with gifts and it brings them great delight to buy your baby clothes. The clothes are cute because they’re miniature and your friends are so thoughtful and generous that the mass of kids clothes acquired soon becomes more than you can bear to dig yourself out from under. Laundry becomes a torturous task that seems to take over your life. 

You spend your days laundering and folding kids clothes, only to find that when you go the put the clothes away, the drawers and closets are overflowing and things are hard to put away. “I’ll just leave this right here on the table for now. I’ll have to go through her drawers to make some room later,” you think. Been there, done that! What if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? 

Here are my top three tips for simplifying your child’s wardrobe.

1)      Throw things in the trash. Maybe a harsh first point, but going through your kids’ clothes and tossing anything that is ripped or stained beyond repair is a great first step in simplifying their wardrobe. They probably aren’t wearing these clothes anyway and that makes this an easy place to start.

2)      Pull out anything that doesn’t fit right now. Ever had the battle over the too-small pair of pants at the last minute while you’re trying to get everyone dressed and out the door? Eliminate the struggle and remove things from their drawers and closets that don’t currently fit. Store seasonal clothes in bins and donate or pass down to younger siblings clothes that no longer fit. This will give you a bunch of space to work with and it will also show you exactly how many of each item you have. I did this recently and found that my daughter had 33 tops in her drawer. Many of them didn’t fit and taking them out left us with so much room!

3)      Fill in the gaps – Capsule Wardrobe. Does a capsule wardrobe intimidate you as it did me? Don’t be afraid to give it a shot. You can do as many or as few pieces in a capsule wardrobe. The key is that all the pieces can be worn together. After you throw away all the ripped and stained items and pull out anything that doesn’t fit right now, you’ll be able to better assess what your child needs. Don’t skip those first two steps! They’re essential to getting the capsule right the first time.

These are my top tips for simplifying a child’s wardrobe, but it could work in an adult’s closet too! Tell me – are you a clothing minimalist or do you love to shop and buy?

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