Purposeful Parenting
Why Choosing Medication was the Best Move for Me: A Lesson in Humility
Published
1 year agoon
By
Katy Blevins
Purposeful Parenting
How to Avoid the Epic Meltdown: Understanding Your Child’s Cues
Published
12 months agoon
April 17, 2020By
Katy Blevins
Duh, duh, duh….the dreaded meltdown. With one kid, this can bring the strongest mommy to her knees. With multiples, well…the word “epic” takes on a completely new meaning. In the worst possible way.
Moral of the story? A little organization and forethought can go a long way. Considering WHY my kids were throwing tantrums and then exploring what I could do to prevent them before they started has saved me a million tears. Like I said, it’s not a perfect system. But every little bit helps.
Purposeful Parenting
How to Speak the Right Language: Understanding Your Child’s Cues
Published
12 months agoon
April 13, 2020By
Katy Blevins
Every day I pick up my children from day care to hear “They are such great kids! They had a blast today and are some of the best listeners we’ve ever had. They’re so well-behaved!” Yay, Mama win! And then we go home and they act like total demon-infested, hell-raising psychos and won’t listen to a word I say. Weekends can be brutal and I sometimes find myself praising Jesus that I decided to keep working and not stay-at-home.
sweet kids from day care?
Best Thing I Ever Did: I went to pick the kids up one day and they were enjoying themselves, so I decided to just sit and watch for a bit and let them play. Funny thing happened. I started listening to how the day care teachers communicated with my children and how they responded. And the light bulb went off. I don’t know how to speak the language my kids understand.
I started listening harder. And then I came back the next day and did it again. Now, every time I drop off or pick up, I listen. How are they talking to my kids? What are they saying? How are the kids responding? And then I mimick it at home.
Major win!!! My kids are starting to see an extension of their daily routine back into the home and it’s making sense. I say certain words they’re used to hearing and like magic, they listen. Not every time (which I suspect also happens at day care), but the majority of time. Major improvement. We are starting to speak the same language.
Sometimes I forget (or refuse to admit) that I am not my children’s primary care provider. For those of us that work outside the home, most often our kids spend the majority of their time somewhere other than with us. Sometimes, being reminded of that hurts. A lot. But truth is, they develop routines, cues and references that we’re not familiar with. We need to learn the language they are used to hearing every day so that we can communicate our needs in a way they understand. I need to speak my children’s language.
Phrase Adjustments that Worked for Me:
- “Walk away please” instead of “No!” or “Don’t Touch!”
- “Are you using your listening ears?” instead of “Listen to me!”
- “I’m going to go to work for awhile, but Mommies always come back!” instead of “Say bye to Mommy. I have to go to work.”
Emily Speaks
11 Alternatives to Self Harm: Emily Speaks
Published
1 year agoon
April 2, 2020By
Katy Blevins
If you’re just connecting with the Emily Speaks series, be sure to check out her first post, Cyber Bullying and Self-Harm, to catch up. Today, Emily will be sharing 11 alternatives to self harm to help those hurting to make healthier choices to cope with emotional struggles.
I know it can be hard not to self-harm if you’re being bullied, but you need to try to think of other ways to deal with the pain. Cutting leaves angry scars on your body. You should try to deal with your hurt in other ways. Here are 11 good examples that will hopefully help you out a little bit.
1. Try talking to somebody about what’s going on so that you can get it out of your system.
2. Go outside where nobody is around and just scream as loud as you can for as long as you want.
3. Take a rubber band and keep it on your wrist so whenever you feel like cutting you can just take that rubber band and snap it on your wrist (softly – not to where it harms you).
4. Get an old teddy bear or stuffed animal that you don’t want and take your anger out on that.
5. Go on a jog or go out and ride your bike or long board or whatever you have and just ride around to calm yourself down.
6. Go hang out with your friend(s) and get your mind off things that would make you want to cut or do anything else to harm yourself.
7. Sleep it out and take a long nap and see how you’re feeling when you wake up.
8. Go hang out with your family and just relax.
9. Listen to some music.
10. Read a book.
11. Get an art journal and draw out your feelings. You can paint, draw pictures, even just scribble hard.
These are some of the ways that I stop myself from cutting, because I do still think about it when things get rough. When that happens, I try to do these instead and it helps. It does! You need to do anything that would take your mind off of any bad thoughts you are having and make you want to hurt yourself. This might not be the best list of ideas, but if you take a chance and try them out, they might end up working for you. You’re not only helping yourself, but you’re helping everyone else around you by making a better choice to not self-harm.
Tina
November 8, 2014 at 9:51 pm
I applaud you for your open honesty! Don’t worry, you are not alone in the meds department 😉 So you are a photographer? I am too! I spent ten years doing wedding and portraits in Kentucky before the move to Mexico. See you around, #ibabloggers!
Katy Blevins
November 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm
Thank you Tina! Yup! I’ve been a photog for several years now. I used to do weddings and all else, but I’ve really focused my energies on boudoir and female portraiture. That’s really where my heart is. I love celebrating and encouraging women to embrace their unique beauty.
Kristen
April 18, 2015 at 7:10 am
I had NO idea you struggled with this and am so glad you found a way to manage it. I am a perfectionist too – but had no idea what OCD felt like. Thanks for sharing your story!
Self Move
May 19, 2015 at 3:14 am
wow,I got very important information by reading your post.Your blog is too much informative.I was looking for such information.Thanks for sharing this nice information.I am awaiting for your next post…
Haley
July 11, 2015 at 11:26 pm
Thanks for sharing your story. I to suffer from any and panic attacks, and would avoid medicine at all costs. Then I realized I was driving myself and hubby nuts and finally received the help I needed. I wish many more people would be more open minded and speak up like you did. Then maybe the stigma would disappear.
Thanks for sharing,
Haley
http://haleysvintage.com