“I don’t know how you do it.”
Hi there! I’m a full-time working, single mom to twin boys and a teenage stepdaughter, so daily chaos has been the name of the game for just about forever. Between daycare pick ups and drop offs, my daughter’s social butterfly schedule, and the busy of work at The Studio Hampton Roads…Yeah… The to-do list is never fully complete, we’re usually running out the door on our way somewhere at all hours of the day (and night!), and the laundry? Well, the laundry is almost always, almost done.
As a raging perfectionist with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, it’s easy to understand why the level of order and routine in my little world directly correlates to my sanity. I naturally excelled in the corporate and professional arena because of my laser-beam focus and drive, and keeping my home in “perfect” order was a breeze. Needless to say, when the twins came along, that daily balance and my rep as someone who had it “all together, all of the time” was challenged on every level. Two more mouths to feed, two more bodies to cloth, and two (or twenty) more diapers to change meant we needed every penny and then some, so I needed to keep my corporate job. But we needed more. I needed more. My photography business and studio rental business continued to develop as a creative and professional avenue for our family, which meant more long-term financial stability, but also less available time to counter the chaos.
While I was very well-equipped to multi-task and successfully manage the chores, both jobs and anything and everything in-between as far as routine, cleanliness and order, I suddenly found myself struggling with my children. A whiz at prioritizing my time and to-do list, able to crank out tasks like a champ, I found that my relationship with my husband was struggling (and subsequently ended), my daughter was slipping away during her formative years and the twins were a mess. I suddenly realized that my clean house and stellar resume didn’t mean a thing if I wasn’t prioritizing my family in the way that they deserved. They didn’t need a clean house. I did. They needed me. And I needed them more than I needed that clean house. It was time to make some changes.
I now consider myself a recovering workaholic. I still work very hard and very long, but the incessant focus on order and the to-do list (both personally and professionally) has been redirected to where it belongs. My family gets the first and best of me, and I’ve learned that it’s ok to not get everything done every day and it’s ok to say “No.” When people say “I don’t know how you do it.” the truthful reply is “On most days, I don’t!” I’ve simply learned to do what can be done in the order it can be done with the available time that I have. I’ve accepted that I can’t be everything to everybody and that my #1 job as a working mom is to be present with my children in our available moments together.
Are you tired? Stressed? Overwhelmed? This blog is meant to be a safe haven for you, the burnt out working mom. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone and that a more manageable life is out there for you. It’s a series of simple tricks and tips, organizational systems and time management directives that will help you retrain your professional brain to focus on your family while also managing your workload. It’s a pass to forgive yourself for not always having a spotless house and for secretly hoping your boss doesn’t give you that promotion because you really just can’t handle any more work. And most importantly, it’s a chance to make life less chaotic so that you can be you where it really matters – at home.
If you’re looking to learn how to order your chaos and make life as a working mom more manageable, you’ve come to the right place. Will join me as we conquer the busy of life? We’re in this journey together! Be sure to subscribe to the mailing list so that the key to a more organized life can be delivered to you right where you are at, while you’re on the go in the busy of life. If I can do this, so can you!
We can do this!!! XOXO, Katy